Day 2 – Step Into Freedom – Stop Gossiping

By October 13, 2016Life Lessons

Gossip is a sin. It may be okay with the ways of the world, but it’s totally against the ways of God. 

A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends. Proverbs 16:28

Gossip, according to Merriam-Webster, is “information about the behavior and personal lives of other people; or information about the lives of famous people.” A gossiper is “a person who often talks about the private details of other people’s lives.” 

The Bible teaches this: The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. Proverbs 18:8 NIV

There is something very inviting about gossip to the carnal heart. It feeds a part of us where other negative emotions and beliefs reside. So why should we turn away from gossip? Here are a few thoughts:

First, gossip is hurtful. It’s not loving. And it’s harmful to those being talked about and to ourselves. Gossip’s motive is powered in pride and judgement, both of which are repugnant to God. When we consider the amazing way of living that we can have when we follow God’s ways for our life, then it’s easy to see why gossip is not part of His equation for a loving and peaceful life. Gossip serves as poison in our souls and contaminates our hearts. 

Second, when we gossip we are turning our back on God and turning to the ways of the enemy whose only desire is to steal, kill and destroy anything that is good and pure. We sense this truth when we keep our hearts open to the Lord at all times and feel the conviction whenever we may engage in gossip.

Perhaps you know the sting of gossip because others have said things about you. You’ve felt the hurt. You’ve experienced the betrayal. You’ve been pierced by the arrows of judgement and disapproval. 

Or maybe  you know the perils of gossip because you’ve felt the correction of the Holy Spirit when you’ve been in the middle of a gossip session. You know in your heart that you’re engaging in dark actions and sense the Lord is not pleased.

So what do we do? In a time when so many people engage in gossip, how do we chose to walk in the Spirit and not the ways of the flesh by joining in when the gossip is offered? 

One: Make a quality decision to never gossip again! Draw a line in the sand of your heart and make a personal commitment and a promise to the Lord to never gossip. Take gossip off your list of activities. And keep your spiritual ears open for when you hear the invitation to participate in this sinful behavior. 

Keep in mind that gossip is betrayal and sows strife and discord. Rather than walking in the light and bringing goodness to situations, when we gossip we partner with negative actions and emotions. We take the hand of bitterness, unkindness, and hate. 

Right now you can make a decision to not gossip! That’s what I did many years ago, prompted by the Holy Spirit and wanting to please God rather than my own selfish ambitions. Does that mean I have never gossiped since I took that stand? Rarely . . . and not because I am so good, but because the God is me is greater! 

When gossip enters the room, I try to recognize it immediately and choose to turn away. I try to discern the information as to whether it’s hurtful and unkind . . . or is what is being said something that if the person were present could also be shared. Is the intent of the conversation life-giving or is it unkind and unloving? 

What do you do if you find yourself in the clutches of gossip? Stop and then seek forgiveness. Repent, which means change to what is right. And recommit yourself to not engage in gossip. 

Two: When you find yourself in a situation where others are gossiping, counter the circumstance by either changing the subject or by putting a stop to the unbecoming behavior.

Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases. Proverbs 26:20

Your loving response brings a different “energy” into the conversation. Usher Christ’s love into the room. Offer a different response and a direction that leads to good. Speak well of people Always lift up what is good about them. Be the life-giver rather than the one fueling the fire with strife and unkindness.

When you make the decision to not gossip you are making the decision to step into freedom. You are choosing to not take on the weight of gossip or being a gossip bearer. Your decision is one of love and good that serves you, serves others, and serves God.


What are your thoughts about gossip? Have you been the victim of this unkind behavior? Have you learned to turn away from gossip? Are you making a decision today to stop gossiping and to choose good? 

61 Comments

  • Sharon J says:

    I recently found myself gossiping about someone. In the midst the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “you are talking to much.” I immediately stopped. I felt really bad for the person. I really enjoy having fun with the person I was gossiping about. If he found out that it was me: He would be very hurt, disappointed in me. From that day, I asked God to forgive me, and don’t ever let him find out. I have stop gossiping.

  • Shirley henry says:

    Well I know gossip is wrong and I have told myself not to engage in it. However I find myself listening but sometimes will try to speak good of the person or of the situation. Thanks for this article it will help me to not gossip and not to get involve negatively.

  • Contentment says:

    Someone in my office does nothing but gossip. I used to entertain it and take part but now I walk away. It’s so bad that I have resigned my position. If one does not agree with said person or take part ones life is made miserable. I have no clue what my future holds but I know I am at peace. I love love love my job but this work environment feels too awful to continue. Go’s holds my future as well as my family so I trust He will carry us thru. Thank you for such a wonderful blog!

    • Susan Gregory says:

      You are in our prayers. And yes, praise God that He will indeed see you through. He knows all about the situation. He knows your heart. He already has the answers for you.

  • Christal says:

    I am guilty of this sin and I vow to turn away from it today. If someone has a flaw, talking about them doesn’t help you or them. It only feeds your gossiping flaw. I have people very close to me that gossip. They may not like the new me, and they may want to distance themselves from me since I will no longer engage in this sinful activity. They may even start talking about me. If they aren’t already doing it. This type of sinner doesn’t care who the gossip is about, as long as it makes good conversation. However, I will not allow them to hinder my blessings or my relationship with God. It’s time for me to learn who my true friends are. I’d rather lose friends than miss out on the best relationship available to me, which is with the Lord. The best advice I’ve heard is to know the difference between a conversation and gossiping. Would you say what you are saying if the person were in the room listening? This wouldn’t work if you are blunt or are looking for a fight. Also, those characteristics wont help your relationship with God either. Also, how would you feel about the things coming out of your mouth if it were being said about you?
    Be Blessed people of God

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Great message, Christal. And I especially like what you wrote about the difference between a conversation and gossip. That’s a great way to distinguish our actions!

      Be blessed!

  • Pearl says:

    This is one that I struggle with.i don’t mean to gossip but I find mindself caught up either in gosipping or listening to gossip. Even up to last week but I thank God I did not feel right in my spirit and managed to stop it. I am praying and asking for prayers in this area that I will not take part in any gossip and want to stop it today.

  • Jescudi says:

    I been noticing I do this:/ at work is the biggest struggle or when I’m with my bestfriend cuz sometimes I be bored and not knowing what to say so gossip comes up or at times I stay quiet but still listen to the gossip so that’s just as negative. I choose today to stop talking about others and stop listening to the gossip by others. #jesustakethewheel

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Sometimes the Lord uses something like a little blog post as a “tap on the shoulder” to pay attention.

      He is so good and you will be happier, free, and confident as you walk in your decision and His truth.

  • Eugenia says:

    I gave up gossiping a long time ago, I don’t even associate myself with people that gossip because I’m not perfect myself. Thanks

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Yes, we can do it! Giving up gossiping is a decision and then a discipline and then a way of life. You are there! Praise God!

  • Puleng says:

    I choose today no more gossiping.

  • Crystal says:

    Thank you for this article. Gossip is a struggle for me daily between work and family- matters. My heart is always so convicted when the error occurs. This gives me renewed hope that I know I have the freedom to stop this behavior and turn it aroud for God’s glory.

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Yes, we always have the choice . . . and we need reminders sometimes. Praise God that His mercy is new every morning!

      • Norma says:

        I will try to work at it. It is a struggle for me as well. I do however no coworkers that gossip and know if they talk about them they’re talking about me behind my back as well.

  • Lindiwe Moyo says:

    Thank you very much for this word. Gossip has terrible consequences to people it’s done to sometimes I find myself being involved in this gossip especially at work I pray that Lord will helpme to stop This hinders our walk with Lord May God help us to control our tongues with the help of Holy Spirit Thank You God Bless You. Lindwe Moyo

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Let all of us tap into the power of God’s Holy Spirit in us to become better and better for Him. Jesus is our model and we can follow Him.

      Be blessed.

  • Bishop Patrick Munyua says:

    Am humbled from this! I know I have many a time been in gossip arena and win nothing. I have confessed to God and I walk away in Jesus Name.

    • Susan Gregory says:

      God is our motivator. With Him directing us . . . and then us following His lead . . . we will always be right! It’s all about the Lord and His truth.

      • Edith says:

        Thank you for your invaluable message I pray for God to give me the Grace to holdback and not be a party to gossip again. Amen

  • I think the best way to try and stop gossiping is to engage ourselves to reading the word of God everyday.It has helped me a lot like Philippians 4vs4-8.May you always be joyful in your union with the Lord……..I’ve continued to read up to vs 8 and felt comfortable and peaceful.Thanks to your blog Susan…it’s encouraging me.

  • Cam says:

    To God be the Glory. This message was right on time and much needed. I’ve tried not to be entertained or the entertainer of gossip but fall short often. I’m am going to add this to my prayer/healing list. I love how God works and speaks to His children. Thanks Susan for sharing this! God bless you!

  • I thank you so much, I am so attached to the social media, wanting to hear the gossips, I enjoy it when one comes to me for gossiping, I also know who to go to when I want to gossip. I am now aware this is a sin. I will no more gossip. Thank you so much

  • Gloria Ramsey says:

    Susan I thank you for this reminder of how important is to be aware of the damaging effects of gossiping, not only personally but to in the lives of others. Also to understand that as God’s children to be responsible and to build healthy relationships and shun participating in destroying the reputation of others. To stop gossip is essential to always see the goodness in others and point that aspect to everyone, who tries to get me to participate in gossiping. At the same time be committed to stay away from anyone who invites me to gossip or stop it immediately. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to the Lord, my God as I interact with people in my circle of influence and beyond. For I’m called to build up lives and not to tear them down.

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Great word, Gloria. Thank you for taking the time to write.

      God is so good. Let us all put our lives of clay into our Potter’s hands so He can mold us and make us into the perfect image He intended all along.

  • janet says:

    I always ask the Lord in prayer to heal my tongue from gossiping because i know it grieves the Holy Spirit. Everytime thoughts of talking about someone enters my mind i scrutinize the thoughts and the motives behind it. and i tried to remember Psalm 15 everytime i am in a situation where one solicits my opinion about anyone. I have to guard my mouth and my mind by thinking the words of David in Psalm 15. It helps me overcome them. Thank God for His goodness.

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Good word!

      Create in me a clean heart, O God,
      And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
      11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
      And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Psalm 51:10

      • Linda Farrow says:

        Psalms:51 is one of my favorites scriptures. I love it! And we must to continue to walk and be lead by the Spirit of God to avoid getting caught up in the sin of gossip and other things that may hurt others. We are to love and lead by example.

  • Liz says:

    Though I hate gossip I have found myself getting into gossip once in awhile. I always feel so bad afterwards and wonder why I let myself get sucked into such behavior. It doesn’t feel good and its displeasing to the Lord. I will make a vow to stop gossiping now.

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Yes, we’ve all been there. When we make a vow we have to “cross over” that promise to move into disobedience. It’s a powerful tool that helps us be more successful.

      Be blessed, dear one.

  • Stacey says:

    True words am doing my utmost best to lay aside this gossiping as it’s not healthy and it hurts and destroys lives and relationships Spiritually and physically. Lord I pray and ask your help to let me refrain from gossiping from this day onwards. As we cannot use our mouths to praise God and gossip at the same time.

  • Carol M Jones says:

    Thank you for this timely reminder. I know what it feels like to have gossip spread about me (in and outside of church unfortunately). I also am guilty of being a gossiper at times and as I grow further in my walk with Christ and also knowing how hurtful it can be to have people talk about me, I am working towards not entertaining or being a part of gossip. I do have a question: do you believe that watching celebrity gossip shows like TMZ (just one example) encourages people to gossip in their own lives and others? How harmful can it be to watch shows like these especially when trying to make a change towards a gossip free reality?

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Good question, Carol.

      I do think we create an “atmosphere” around us and watching put-down humor and gossip feeds the negative parts of our thinking. I try to look at the good so many celebrities are doing with the platform they have been given. So many use their power for good and so those are all stories I like to follow, hear about, and share! 🙂

  • Brenda Anderson says:

    I too am striving for the non-gossip life style. It is hurtful and mean. It also leads to a complaining spirit. To rather offer words of encouragement because the Lord knows I NEED all the encouragement I can get.

  • KN says:

    Proverbs 18:21 says. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. We should therefore only use our mouths to edify. I pray God gives me the grace to always turn away from gossip. If I don’t have anything good to say about someone , I strive to not say anything at all. I am refusing to partake of the pulling down if people so as too make us feel better about ourselves

  • Tory Hunter says:

    I am a baby in Christ but icdo know the word. I have been gossiped about as well as goosiped about others. It hurts when you trust someone and they use your flaws and downfalls against you. I Thank God daily for His forgiveness,mercy, and Grace. I nolonger engage and entertain the foolishness. I asked God to remove anything or anyone from around me that hindered my growth with Him and I find myself alone physically I Know He is with me spirtually and I have peace and I love it. More time to dwell on His prescence and His love. We all have out own trials and to sit around and talk about other people shortcomings are not right. He who goes without sin cast the first stone. We all fall short so how can we condemn someone else. When I hear things about me now instead of downing that person I go to God and ask Him to deliver them. This world is getting crazier by the hour and Bible is unfolding right before our eyes. It’s time for the spreading of the Gospel which is truth instead of rumors about a person who can’t save you…

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Awe, praise God for the sweet work He is accomplishing in your soul. So wonderful and encouraging to others. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

  • Beverly moore says:

    I have made up my mind today. To stop gossiping it’s wrong. I don’t like being talked about and other people don’t want to be talked about. I’m praying to GOD to help me. Satan comes to steal kill and distroy I don’t want to be helping him do none of these. Pray for me a work on progress. Okolona Ms.

  • Julie Hennard says:

    Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
    God only knows the pain and suffering this particular sin has brought to my life. This is a murderous, slanderous spirit of destruction and if it had not been for the Lord who is on my side I don’t think I would have survived such a vicious attack. I am still feeling reprecussions from this in my life. You better believe that life and death are in the power of the tongue… but if you stand on the truth and the Word of God it doesn’t matter what anyone says about you for the Word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Gossip is a subtle but deadly weapon used against us and it goes unoticed by most which makes it even more deadly. It is written that thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. I have been hurt and punished by christians and non believers for things that I have not even done… just because of gossip. I forgive them because they were decieved but to continually spread the deception has cost me much…. I am in a season of restoration now, thank you Jesus and would not be as strong in the Lord and in the Power of HIS might if it had not been for this attack, but oh what a painful storm to go through. Please, please, please do not put your mouth on someone else and use your tongue to tear them down. It is not of God. We are to exhort and edify and encourage and lift each other up. If someone falls we are to try to help that person and restore them to the Lord. Thank you for this blog for it has brought to my attention areas that I need to repent of. Father, I ask for your forgiveness for gossip and I commit to try to never be around or involved in any type of gossip and I commit to not watching the shows on tv like entertainment tonight or Extra that are based around this sin. Pleae forgive me, I repent and turn in Jesus Name I pray. Again thank you for this blog. Your ministry has blessed my heart abuandantly.

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Thank you for sharing this message!

      Gossip is NOT idle. It is not “entertainment.” It is not trivial. It is harmful and sinful! That is the truth!

      Be blessed, dear one. And blessings on you in double measure for all the enemy has provoked against you!

    • polite says:

      so help me God l dont talk ill but l find myself being involved in the gossip around the office and l have been praying to God to to stop and that he closes my ears not to hear the gossip and only give me spiritual ears that hears the good stories only.i repent and l ask God for the ability to turn around and do the right thing ,please pray for me to get to that stage to shun gossip and never find myself involved in gossip.

    • Sue says:

      Oh, so true…deep conviction re our own participation in gossip, especially when so often under the guise of ” so we can pray for them better!” I repent too of being a part of this trap…Thank you so much Susan for sharing the truths from His word. It is very hurtful when we are the one gossiped about, lies plus, plus…people who were once friendly turn their backs due to believing the lies and gossip!…May each of us continue to remember He knows every detail, the facts! Resting in Him…Psalm 46:10. God bless you all dearly, from Sue 🙂

    • Teresa says:

      Julie thank you so much for sharing your post, I totally agree with you when you say that we are to build each other up and not tear each other down. I am very guilty of this when I feel like someone has done me wrong I would say anything I can to tear them down in order to make myself feel good. But you know what Julie in the long run I am the one feeling hurt by it because they are God’s children such as I am, and God only wants us to love each other as he also loves us. I pray everyday for God to change me and to help me love everyone in spite of their faults. I cannot pull the plank out of someone else eyes when I have a log in my own eye. God says to not judge unless we be judged. God is the only judge not us, so again I thank you for your response to this blog about gossiping it really helped me to see what this can not only do to the people I’m talking about but also to me as well. I pray that God close my ears to the negative talk as well as redirect me when I’m hearing negative talk and to help me to shed light on the situation instead of engaging that will cause someone pain and hurt.

  • Lecia says:

    Oh I’m so glad when I make that decision not to do it anymore, awhile back don’t like it for myself so I don’t want to do it to others with the help of God, sometimes I get caught up in a conversation and realize what I was doing and change the subject, with the help of God he’ll carry me through. Please pray for me

  • thabisa says:

    Gossip hurts when the arrow is pointing towards you but it’s got this attraction that pulls you when it sneaks in to the conversation…….I used to take part in gossip before I was a Christian and when I accepted Jesus as my saviour God gave me a different job with different people that doesn’t know me and that helped me to stop completely or try to stop completely (it’s a process).
    Just because I am different from my colleagues I find myself being a subject of gossip and yes it hurts but I am fortunate enough because God reveals it to me and He gives me strength to lift my head high because being accused because I don’t live my life like them…. I am accused because of the Christ that lives in me I just sing ‘it is well with my soul’
    Thank you very much.

  • M. B. says:

    I am praying to God that I stop. It also hurt the person gossiping. I want to live Christ life. I am reaching for the top because the bottom is crowded.

    • Susan Gregory says:

      Good word! Yes, the bottom is very crowded and dark. Let’s to high with the Lord of love, grace, and mercy!

  • Comora says:

    I think gossiping is truly wrong and not godly. I try my hardest to refrain from gossiping and being around persons that gossip.

  • LM says:

    I have been a victim of this unkind behavior, I was doing a good deed regarding a scholarship for someone in need but I was talked about because the person didn’t get along with the family so she talked about me with negative words, I did approach the person and she said, if I did something wrong I apologized. I thought the conversation was at rest, but I was talked about again, she said I was told to apologize to her, so that left me feeling some type of way being she is a Pastor’s wife, umm.

    • Susan Gregory says:

      These are tough situations. And it shows the negative effects of gossip. I encourage you to find confidence and peace in knowing your efforts were done in love and kindness. Open your heart to the Lord and allow Him to lead you in any future interactions. People will make wrong assumptions. But if you stay in love, and cling to the Lord, then you will always have His peace in your heart.

      • Grace says:

        It really hurts, it hurts especially when didn’t do what you are accused of or you are nothing like what you are being portray. It hurts it break your spirit

        • Susan Gregory says:

          Yes, Grace. I too have been hurt by the unkind words and gossip of people.

          The key is our response. Will we move to resentment and bitterness. Or will be cling to the Lord of comfort and understanding so we can then walk in love and grace? This is part of our journey as followers of Christ.

          Peace be with you, dear one.

    • Agnes says:

      L.M.

      I can relate to you. It is especially painful when family members are involved. There are many a times when disowning family seems healthier. Then the holy spirit reminds me that there’s a reason they are my family. That is what I should concentrate on. I have learned to pray in all situations.

  • Lori English says:

    Excellent reminder! Thank yuh so much for sharing this.

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